sutton016

If we review the last three weeks, they include yet another failed attempt to get pregnant, food poisoning, paying full price for an HCG that I’m not even sure I’m going to use, my building getting hit by l ightning thus killing everything plugged into every outlet including my beloved computer (using a friend's PC to write this!) and my insurance company telling me that they are no longer covering any of my fertility treatments. I honestly would not be surprised if I was soon diagnosed with prostate cancer… despite that fact that I don’t even HAVE a prostate. I don’t want to whine or complain (even though I’m very gifted at both) but really, REALLY, when does the good stuff start? Things can ALWAYS be worse. I try to never lose sight of that, however, it doesn’t change the fact that being in a terminal state of suckage is frustrating as hell. Despite the hundreds of dollars we now have to spend on replacing everything (we do have insurance so hopefully, we’ll get some of what we s...

~ All's fair in love and fertility   ~ Feed a cold. Starve a polyp.   ~ Enough is enough; unless you're a Duggar   ~ Bad news travels fast on TTC Chat boards   ~ A sperm in time saves nine   ~ There but for the grace of God, go I... and another pregnant woman with a stroller   ~ Behind every great man there's a great sperm count   ~ All work and bad morphology makes Jack a dull boy ~ An infertile and her money are soon parted   ~ To err is human; to fertilize divine   ~ Don't bite the hand that inseminates you   ~ You can lead a sperm to an egg, but you can't make it fertilize   ~ Implantation speaks louder than words ~ Infertiles of a feather flock together ~ Better never than late   ~ It ain't over till the fat lady gets a big fat positive   ~ Hell hath no fury like an infertile scorned   ~ Every sonogram tells a story   ~ Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may conceive   ~ If at first you don't suc...

I can’t lie. These last two weeks have not been what I would characterize as fabulous. They’ve been filled with feelings of failure, frustration and thanks to a bought of food poisoning, a fear of tuna fish. That’s right. Charlie the Tuna kicked my sorry digestive system on Tuesday night. Don’t let the smile fool you. 'Sorry Charlie' my ass… But I digress… Even though I typically am pretty successful at keeping expectations in check, this past cycle failing particularly bummed me out. Not helping matters was when I got my period; I got a crop of the worst pimples on my chin. Sure, I break out here and there around my time of the month, but this was like a freaking colony of blemishes. I’ve actually lost count of how many huge pimples I have on my chin right now. I would not be the least bit shocked if a blind person felt my chin and my zits spelled out, “Still Not Pregnant” in a sort of brail. Really… M. Night Shyamalan could make a movie about it. It would be called, “ The Pro...

There are good moods and there are bad moods. Then, there’s the mood I’m in today. If there were a color coated system of my moods, it would be on flaming pissed off red right now. Everyone – you’re on high alert! Grab your duct tape and find a safe house! On Saturday morning, my temperature dipped. Many don’t believe in the temperature taking system to track ovulation, implantation and pregnancy but it’s rarely been wrong for me. I just wish that basal thermometer didn’t just show you what your temp is in a cold, hard, impersonal font. I wish it had an audio feature that broke it to you gently. “ I’m sorry kitten. Your temperature dipped. It didn’t work out this time. If I had arms, I’d hug you but alas, I don’t. If you want to put me back in your mouth though, I’ll do my best to taste like chocolate to cheer you up.” Even though I knew the temperature drop wasn’t great, it was still above the cover line so I was still holding out hope. It was when I saw some spotting that night that ...

Tonight is the start of Rosh Hashanah, which is the Jewish New Year. You would think this would warrant some sort of celebration in Times Square where we watch the Matzo ball drop and Jackie Mason hosts a “A Rockin’ Rosh Hashanah”. Alas, that will not be happening. I was raised Catholic so this is not a holiday I typically celebrate. However, I’ve always had great respect for it. The thought of a New Year, a clean slate, is always extremely appealing to me. Plus, any event that includes food is one I can proudly get behind… no matter what my religion. I’m now in the tail end of my latest two week wait. I must admit, the phrase ‘two week wait’ is slowly beginning to grate on my nerves. It’s feeling more and more like it’s terminal. I long for the day when this insufferable hormonal purgatory will bring some good effen’ news. Can I get an Amen? This was the second cycle after my uterine polyp was removed and for whatever reason, I had very high hopes for it. Right after the surgery seeme...