sutton016

There is a quote by the great philosopher, Homer Simpson, that I’ve always loved. So much so that I’ve mentioned it quite a few times on this blog. It goes like this, “You’ve tried and you failed. What’s the lesson? Never try.” This quote always cracks me up. Do I completely agree with it? No, but it still makes me laugh every single time I hear it. I mean, let’s face it. We can all relate to that feeling, can’t we? Yesterday, I began to notice that I was spotting. I hoped it was implantation bleeding but this morning, when the spotting became almost a whole sentence, I realized the Rudy, the lone embryo may have become Rudy, the no embryo so I called the nurse at the clinic. My blood work was supposed to be on Friday, the 25th. When I explained to her what was going on, she advised me to take a home pregnancy test. If it was negative, she told me to come in tomorrow morning. If it was positive, she told me to just wait until Friday. So, I took a home test, and it was negative. I immed...

I have a running joke at my day job. Note that I always call it a “day job” to remind myself that what I do from 9am to 5pm is not actually my life. Anyway, the joke goes that if you live in New Jersey or if you have a small child, you always have a ‘Get Out of Jail Free Card’. I’ve lost count of how many people haven’t come into work because they either have a sick kid at home or the weather in New Jersey is so bad that they couldn’t possibly make it in to Manhattan, which is where I work. There is public transportation available, but for some reason, whenever there is snow, there simply isn’t a New Jersey employee to be found. Maybe they’re afraid of snow? I’m not sure. The reason I mention this is because I took off a few days last week for my IVF. Monday was the retrieval, Thursday was the transfer and Friday was the day I watched crap TV while trying to comfort my sore uterus. When I had asked for the whole week off, my boss was not at all agreeable. As you may remember, I told h...

Rudy - The Embryo On Wednesday night, right on time, the TV aired their usual, “ It’s 10pm. Do you know where your children are? ” segment. Lord knows I’ve asked myself that question a lot in the past two years. This night though, I could at least say, “ Yes. In a petri dish in midtown New York. ” The transfer day was yesterday, and I must apologize for not blogging about it sooner. It’s hard to type when you’ve spent most of the day with your legs up in the air. This is probably why there aren’t a lot of blogs written by working prostitutes. That’s just my theory though. As you know, we had just the one embryo to transfer. This has been difficult for me to accept. In general, I’ve taken a Queen of Hearts from ALICE IN WONDERLAND response to this disappointment and have very much wanted off with someone’s head. This is not like me. I’m pretty resilient and can put a positive spin on most things. I am also a firm believer that if you make something funny, you can immediately make it bet...

This morning, I did something I haven’t done in a while; I went to church. I’m agnostic through and through. I don’t know if there is a god or that there isn’t. I truly don’t rule it out but I don’t rely on it either. I say this not to convert anyone to my beliefs or to offend anyone. It’s just more where I’m at and what I’m comfortable with. However, in an effort to cover all my bases and be proactive while I try to make sense of the fertility report we received yesterday, I thought a leap of faith was in order. Besides, if god could get Mary knocked up and she never even had sex, he would perhaps be the best guy to help me. God, Reproductive Endocrinologist Extraordinaire. When I entered the church and didn’t get hit by lightning, I thought it was a good start. Although I toyed with it, I almost began my prayer with, “Look, you don’t like me and I don’t like you…” but that seemed to be rather hostile. Truth be told though, if god does exist, I don’t think he hates me. I just think he...

It was around 1:30pm today that I got the call regarding my fertility report. When I heard the nurse say, “ So… you had eleven eggs… and it looks like you only have one embryo... ”, I thought perhaps my cell phone was playing tricks on me. It’s new and I’m still getting used to it so I was hoping that my Android Incredible was simply malfunctioning and turning what should be positive statements into negative statements. “ One? Did you say one? ” I asked in total disbelief. “ Yes. ” She answered as if I shouldn’t be concerned. “ But we had eleven eggs. ” I protested. “ I know… sometimes that just happens .” It just happens? You know what else happens? Shit. That’s what else happens. With my last IVF, I had five eggs and managed to get three embryos out of the deal so I can’t figure out what went wrong this time. Did they forget to do the ICSI? Did the universe realize it was being good to me and quickly correct it? Was this woman actually a nurse from the clinic or some cruel bitch play...

I awoke this morning to a note I had left myself the night before: “ Don’t forget to stick progesterone gel up your cooch! ” Clearly, today is the day after my retrieval. Ever since January 28th, I have been heavily into hormone shots, daily visits to the clinic and doing my damndest to not let my over producing ovaries effect my outfits or my day job. It’s a delicate balance but I do feel like I managed the task at hand. Every single morning, I was at the clinic for blood work and a sonogram. As annoying at this was schedule wise, I can honestly say this afforded me way more attention than I got with my first IVF. I didn’t just visit this clinic as much as I feel like we were in a committed relationship. If the wand they used for the intravaginal sonogram vibrated, then we’d really have something special going on. Someone would definitely get a Valentine’s Card out of that deal. Happy Valentines Day! Thank you for the hot sonogram action... Of course it’s not fun being shot i...