sutton016

First, the big news is that I found out I’m having a boy. That’s right – a little, tiny penis is growing inside me. I can’t even believe it. Before I got married, I was single for so long and spent so many years trying to understand men. Now, here I am about to have a little man. I hope and pray I can understand him ! Apparently, the baby can start to hear around twenty weeks so starting week twenty, I’m going to say these two statements to him over and over again: 1. No one will ever love you more than your mother. 2. If you say you're going to call a woman, you’d better f*cking call her. The woman doing the sonogram asked my husband and me if we wanted to know the sex of the baby and we both said yes. She said that if she was able to see anything, she’d let us know. Five minutes later, she went, “ WHOA! You still want to know the sex ???” We knew immediately that it had to be a boy with that reaction. I mean really? Who says “Whoa!” to a vagina other than perhaps Joey Lawrence? ...

In the past few weeks, I’ve been waking up more often in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom. My husband, who never did this before, has started asking me, “ Where are you going?” Usually, it’s four in the morning so I want to talk as little as possible but I’d love to say to him, “ It’s four in the morning, I’m wearing an extra large t-shirt with no underwear, I have my mouth guard on and I’m heading to the bathroom. Where the hell do you think I’m going???” If he asks me again, I may answer, “ I‘m heading to Nepal to climb Mount Everest. Don‘t wait up .” This new line of questioning in the middle of the night I’m going to take as my husband being more protective and concerned about me now that I’m seventeen weeks pregnant. I can’t really blame him as I’ve been just as nervous and cautious. I even bought one of those home fetal heart beat dopplers. I must mention that my husband has often used it to sing to me with it. It’s like his own portable microphone. It’s cut...